Monday, November 8, 2010

A Hole Digger Is a Gold Digger




Holes...a subject of euphoria for the tactful, conniving & ingenious souls which were put on earth by some miscalculated force, also happens to be a tender topic for many others with myriad taste sensations. A hole; an empty confined space characterized by its stuffy, musty, dark environment is not a place of merriment for many unless of course you happen to be a mole. In a mole's perspective, hole digging is a gift of nature. Sadly, those who are at the top of the food chain, supposedly with better intellectual powers try to outsmart the wise selections of mother nature & morph into hole diggers themselves.



A hole is often associated with dirt, or some other form of waste that must be put away. Like the mole goes in search of the delicate areas of land to create its curvy caves, human hole diggers go in search of "dirt". This "dirt" is meant to be meddled with, turned up, ploughed through and additionally shared among similar hole digging enthusiasts. Human moles are cheeky and have the knack of going off the radar for considerable periods of time. Unlike the moles of nature, these "moles" work round the clock, in rain and shine going in search of... yes.. dirt.



Moles of nature are harmless critters. They just make an exasperating mess that can easily be dealt with. Human moles on the other hand are walking time bombs. Oh wait, forget the time adjective. Human moles are just walking bombs, capable of irreparable disruptions, many a fixes and worst of all, loss of goodwill.



A good thing about a mole digging a hole, as I see is the fact that it is only the mole who is getting dirty at the end of the procedure. He does not create a big mess, except underground. Fellow moles do not go on strike, shun the poor critter, or expel him off the company. Everybody is happy. Unfortunately when human moles start poking about in the dirt everything from A to Z ends up in a soup and the soup is also in a bottomless bowl!



I wonder if a mole pats himself on the back when he finally emerges from his twisting trench. "Oi..I did a damn good hole" kind of a thing maybe? It is about time you moles started doing that because human moles regardless the significance of their work, just love to brag. Ever heard of "making a mountain out of a mole hill" proverb?



The hole digging process exposes a lot of hidden treasures. Now, for a mole the most valuable treasure would be some edible thingy, a vegetable or a grub worm. To human moles however the definition of the word "treasure" varies. Today it would refer to gold, tomorrow it could refer to dirt! Greed and desire lubricate the digging process in human moles. I am not sure what triggers the digging desire in moles though. Any clues anyone?



Moles are blind yet sensitive to darkness. Makes a lot of sense considering their natural habitat aka holes. Human moles, most of the time are not blind (although what they do sometimes raise serious questions with regard to their visibility). As for the sensitivity factor, well let's just not make a mountain out of a mole hill shall we? :)



Unguarded man-holes, often trigger public outcry. Why, for the obvious danger that is associated with it, a far steeper hazard for health in comparison to mole holes. You see... holes are dangerous, yet the digging continues...



And so we forget..

Again...

As to why we were put on this earth...

Monday, September 6, 2010

To Fix The Match

On my way home today I happened to hear the not so oooh aah news on the radio which said a certain player in our Sri Lankan Cricket Team has allegedly been involved in a match fixing scenario. Although the news is supposedly true, a lot of backfence talk is going on with regard to who the culprit behind the scandle is. The funny thing is despite being slow in catching up with the trends we Lankans sure find savvy ways to be under the spotlight albeit the thumbs-down. ;-)



I am thinking match fixing could happen both ways. Paying to win & paying to lose. Paying to win, we do not hear much. Even when we do hear paying to win scenarios, such events call for glamorous celebrations all over (e.g IPL?). Yet paying to lose is the situation that generates plenty of hullabaloo, in the big barracks, in the news, and in the streets.





To me, all these bookies (although commit a sin according to my religion) are a bunch of ingenious businessmen who know exactly how to exploit the human mind. It is just to plain bad that they decided to use the ingenuity to something that gets everybody into trouble. But then again had they opted to be righteous we would all lose on a good topic of discussion. So there... go be bad boys, but know what you gonna do when "they" come for you (hearing Bob Marley sing :D). We, humans all have a price tag atop our heads. Yet only a few entrepreneurs learn how to read that tag. Sadly for us the majority of the few are such illicit dealers! The moment one learns how to read it, the owner of the tag becomes a puppet. And there is nothing worse than being a puppet of a puppetmaster whose head is screwed. Money can do wonders to us human beings. We all like to claim how we value the work we do & how morally & principally just we are. Speaking bluntly the truth, money is one element in the world that can swing one into all sorts of directions despite the upholster we put on. People, with all the sophistication going around, have forgotten the fact that we all have had animal ancestors. Bait to an animal as we all have seen, can make it go into extremely unwholesome states, (e.g imprisonment, death) For us humans the only bait we have evolved to respond is money. :D



We are not hard workers. We all like to sit back, relax, do the bare minimum & live the life. Making a quick buck to most of us is an exciting venture. The essential clause in this service agreement is "do less". So if I were a sportsman & I was going to fix the match the best thing I would do is play lousy & hope that nobody would notice. Now that I have written that sentence, all of a sudden the concept of match fixing to win sounds extremely stupid. If I were somebody else other than a sportsman, then we all know the ends we reach trying to "do less". No need to gloat on that I reckon. ;-)



Thus the booky principle is economically ingenious. Exploit the trend & maximize the gain; win-win all around.



You walk along the street and pass a little brook. You see a person with a fishing rod sitting patiently on the bank waiting to get lucky. The immediate thought that would cross your head is that this man is committing a very bad sin. You go home. Hungry, you grab half a loaf of bread, ruffle through the pots and pans & stumble onto a fish curry. If a second person saw you eating fish & bread would you be questioned of your morality? :D



And match fixing goes on... inside this 3rd planet from the sun.

Friday, August 13, 2010

Feeling Very Wiki-ish


Despite the fact that I had tons of work pending, I just spent 2 hours of my morning creating my first wiki!


After 2 hours of googling, brain wrecking and writing content the child was spawned and christened Writum Wiki. I have to say that the effort was totally worth it. The wiki was born leaving me with the feeling of wanting to come back for more. :D

It was amazing to see how easy it was to create the basic layout just after a few click hither and thither. All you need to have is a basic idea (a map in your head) of what you need to put in the wiki and presto...everything else will magically fall into place. There are tons of wiki hosting sites, some of them are generously free. I chose Wikidot to host my wiki. Wikidot has a great set of cool tools for content authoring, site management and user management. In order for you to create your own wiki, you first need to register with wikidot. After that you are meticulously guided through the creating of a wiki process. You may restrict authoring privileges of your wiki. The level of restriction may vary from one person to unlimited number of people (public wiki). In my case, I selected a set of people I would like to see contributing to Writum Wiki. These users will have to register with Wikidot first. In order to induce them to join the wiki, Wikidot has an inbuilt email notification system, which can be used to send emails to approximately 200 users. I have to say I was more than a little eager to use this feature! ;-)

It is also possible for you to receive email notifications whenever content is updated. You can customize your notification settings along with other configs that are applicable to your user account.

What I like the most about Wikis is the sense of community it exudes. Moreover, you are free to come up with a site that perfectly matches your style, your taste and your need. Wikidot also has a super community to assist you in case you found yourself in a bit of a soup with regard to your site.

So, come, partake in the most wikish method to share knowledge.

Monday, August 9, 2010

I LOVE YOU



"Sach... have you ever said the three word sentence?" asks my female confidante. "oh yeah!" out comes the reply. And I let go of the flood gates, which harbor a whole deal of churning thoughts. The churning thoughts somehow magically find their way in to these notes; my surreal fortress of concession.



This female confidante is one persistent little spitfire, who knows how to make me talk. Can't blame her though, for some weird twist of fate we are stuck to each other. I for one am feeling so mighty glad that we are stuck to each other!!! As taken over by instinct, she persists. As frank as I could get, I narrate. The Tale of Woo!

So there, I have uttered the three word sentence. Quite uncanny it is that the first few times I had to say it, it came out of sheer politeness. :D Hence, no meaning, no feeling, no relevance... Debate arises with the question of my trying to mislead the unsuspecting recipient. But then again, if I sufficed the sentence with the phrase"I mean it" I would be cheating two people instead of one; myself and the recipient. True enough it is said that two is better than one, but me thinks the guy who said that must have been extremely pedantic.

To me, the title phrase carries very little meaning. I feel a whole lot more comfortable for as long as I do not hear it. The moment I hear it I am caught in a limbo, not being totally sure if I should succumb to tradition or be unorthodox. Being unorthodox in romance does not have the best of histories, while the sugarcoated sweet talk could get you from point A to point B without a single hair being ruffled. It is just amazing to see advantages one could get with sweet talk should you happen to be with "a recipient" who possess a sweet tooth. It is still sad that supposedly the most prettiest sentences in the literature is brutally exploited by many of us, so much so that it has completely lost its fire and charm...

And so, you the reader might already be squinting your eyes at this little inscription. Oh! you self conscious little miss righteous indignation... bla bla... So be it. Words alone will get me as far as the distance an ant could move me :D Don't I believe in infatuation? Of course I do. We all are bound to make that profound mistake at least once in our lives. When we do eventually commit the crime, time stands still, the earth stops spinning and we begin to see the world in colors we have never seen before.

Respect; that be the word I would be replacing LOVE with. Not only the newer version is hard to mouth if you don't mean it, it sounds ridiculously stupid to the recipient if he/she does not see you behaving accordingly. As far as I am concerned, respect comes bundled with trust, honor, humility and a superior emotion compared to the sugar coated love! Plus one need not bother thinking too much when one says that one respects one. The state is entirely binary; either you respect or you don't! Unlike with regard to love, which has almost a million intermediate stages like "complicated" , "I do but he/she doesn't", "just a crush", "a thing for so & so", "a fling", "no strings attached.." etc. Respect is action-driven. As for love...well...y'all know what drives what!

Actions always speak louder than words.

- NOT OPEN FOR DISCUSSIONS -

Monday, May 17, 2010

In The Back Seat Of Your Car!


The back seat of a ride is a place of excitement for people of many tastes & attitudes. There...a rather mundane opening for another one of mine self-generated, randomly inspired chronicles. Stories about maniacs, scum bags, screw ups, idiots, grown ups who have refused to grow up.... in other words, us!

Rides with tinted shutters have always fascinated me. To be frank, I myself was toying with the idea of being the chauffeur of a tinted shuttered ride, but for some cause unknown to me(and to which I am so frikkin thankful for) the fantasy never materialized. Absence of light, to many people mean plenty of privacy. Absence of light also means security in the same context to the same group of people. Human beings tend to cut themselves lose when it is dark and the environment is closed up. Much like all those werewolves & vampires people have invented to vent out the darker sides of their inner selves. To me,
although those mythical beings are unreal, they are the most violated group of people ever to be spawned. How hopeless pedantic it is to be able to spring into "action" only when the full moon perches itself up on a cloudless sky? For all we know, it is full moon only once a month. It is not like those people
can hitch hike on a random form they happen to meet at a party, run into on streets or meet online....I am guessing it must be extremely boring when you know your self-inflicted curfew lifts itself only once a month!!!


Egad...a derailing!!! As usual!!!! Now let us break free from this temporary indulgence in werewolves and get back to tinted shutters....

Cutting lose, more often than not leads to oneself being a little too careless & finding him/herself at the wrong place at the wrong time. Human beings have needs. Sadly for us, the most demanding of our needs usually require closed environments. Take peeing for example. I am not sure many of us will find it pleasing to relieve our bladders in public. We, somewhere down that long dismal time line of evolution been blessed (or cursed?) with the requirement of wanting darkness when it is time to let go. Once provided the seclusion required its winter wonderland to all of us...Like they say...when you gotta go, you gotta go!!!

Takeaway point: Feelings are hard to put a lid on...


And so we crash down on our object of discussion; rides with tinted shutters. They come bundled with an assortment of VERY favorable properties for the "needy". It is mobile, it more often than not comes with just the right amount of space to do just the right type of things, it comes at zero cost, depending on where you decide to land...etc. and when you do find all properties smiling at you, beckoning you to loosen what you have been harnessing so laboriously in you, you just do nothing but giving in....O! sweet succumb...

Takeaway point: Convenience is not always a blessing...


Who do you normally like to accompany into the seclusion a tinted-shuttered-ride provides? How dense can I get huh? Is that a question to ask? Well....If you are still questioning yourselves whether or not to answer that question in your heads let me help you. You don't need darkness to have tea parties!!!
*Wink*. The quality of the specimen who happens to accompany you into darkness matters a lot AFAIK. It can invariably be your lifeline if it be the right specimen. If not....well....then you can get down on your sorry ass & start hoping for the best. One thing that mustn't elude you though, is the fact that when it comes to the moment, hope sure has the knack of leaving you!

Takeaway point: Beware of who you are with in the darkness...


Seclusion has two faces. It can provide you security. At the same time it can put your life on the line. Well, if you are somebody who happened to make a living out of being alone that is entirely a different story. But I doubt the majority of my audience is in that category. With all due respect, let us read on. One thing I have come to realize over the course of my life, is the fact that there is no such thing as "harmless fun". First of all, that phrase is not logical. Harm & fun should not be in the same sentence to begin with! It has also come into my realization that when fun comes tagged with the word harmless, there are 101 ways things can go hideously wrong. To an observant eye, it must have come into focus that excitement and seclusion go hand in hand in many a occasion. Human beings can excite one another in an assortment of ways. Be it from a gentle touch, a word, or by sharing some substance (coffee, juice, ahem ahem...). Excitement, like seclusion has two faces. It can make you feel good the moment the right buttons are pushed. However, the general case is such that, human beings tend to be extremely negligent when they reach the peak of excitement. Negligence, has a wild reputation on putting a damper on all your glorious moments. Aren't you just tired of my euphemisms!?!?


Takeaway point: Seclusion may provide opportunity and rob you of opportunity...


Opposites are a cocky invention of English language, I reckon. Simple words like give, take, up, down, can generate myriad of emotions in the reader's mind so effortlessly. The opposite of darkness is...yes...light. And such a delicious opposite it is don't you think? A sudden flash of a torch and you are jolted back into reality, out of darkness, into light. With light, strangers may infiltrate your tinted sanctuary. Light provides clarity & strength of mind to most of them who barge in. Does light really provide strength of mind? If you are afraid of the dark then I am sure you would "see" my point! Have you realized that, all Gods (in movies of course) appear amidst bright flashing lights? Good Gods in bright light, and bad Gods in ominous light. Where does this analogy take us? Light can accompany both your saviors and your destroyers. Scary thought don't you think? Light tends to make you see things in a whole new different perspective. Things that you have missed in the dark, you begin to see in haunting clarity when there is light. And then comes all should have s, could have s, and would have s, which usually make you feel even more miserable, should light happens to come on at the worst possible occasion for you. The question comes up; come unto light they say, but do you really want to?

Takeaway point: You ought to be scared of light if you are in the dark for the wrong reasons...


Strangers who come with light usually carry questions. The usual "what" "who" "where" "how" that require you to answer regardless your willingness to open up. People are rather shy of "opening up" when there is light. *Grin* Hence they go in search of darkness! Unfortunately, answering questions in the light may prove to be more difficult than answering them in darkness. For instance, when you are in the dark a question like "what are you doing?" can safely be silenced in the most delicious ways imaginable. *Mondo Grin* However, when the same question comes up when there is light, delicious answers would probably be the last thing on your mind! Moreover, your questioners would not exactly be looking for delicious answers. When the questions are fired, no tinted shutter is going to be good enough to protect you from expectations of strangers.

Takeaway point: Two is company and three (or four) is a crowd...


Then there is indignation! "This is my life, my game, why can I not do what I want? What is wrong with doing this?" etc. attitude. Well paley...that is just the way it is. There is no room to do what you want around here. This is not "the promised land". Nor there are good Gods wandering about us at your disposal to come in all their glory for your rescue. Should you happen to be somebody who has the "need" minus the "iron will" then you might as well take the chance and pray and hope lights will not come on before your party is over. You may not have been the first to break the rules. But somebody before you did break the rules and broke 'em bad. And now we all are doomed to be shackled by all these restrains until we get the green light. I myself have always been a fan of rules, hence I have no complains. A set of rules, like it or not, is a hideous guise to your perfect safety net.

Takeaway point: Respect the rules & rules will respect you back...


And it all happens... in the back seat of your car!!!

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Behind The Third Eye

Given the talented man/woman the right apparatus, he/she maketh magic. The ramblings of this soul today will feature the amazing traits of such talented individuals who have found their calling behind the third eye.

Although the list of featured artists is limited to only 6, (not to mention this was all I could recall in the dismal abyss of my brain) that does not mean I think you suck if you happened to be good with the tools. People are entitled to their own comments & criticisms, I believe. Thus, should you happen to fall into the latter category I just mentioned about, you ought not have your feathers ruffled. Just brush the dampening thought away & be on your merry way.

Since I am not sure all you readers of this script will be able to access the links I will be attaching here, I will take the pride in sharing a few masterpieces that tickled my fantasies. All credit goes to original artists

Featured Artist #1
Srimal Samarasooriya
My good ol' crash pad, who has valiantly rescued me from many a mishaps, seen me through a plenty of bumpy rides is a gifted individual. The noteworthy fact is that the lad is gifted not just with the third eye but also with many a humane virtues. :-) This be a tribute to all the good times, the raised voices, arguments, most of all for being a very reliable cushion whenever a crisis arises. Depending on access privileges you should be able to see his work here. Well if you are curious of his camera type, the tools & techniques he uses & what not, I suggest you not pester me with questions. Why? If ignorance is bliss, I am as happy as a clam with respect to his tool specifications. The picture of the passage you see here happened to be one of my personal favorites from his collection.



Featured Artist #2
Anjula De Silva
Aaah...from my days of learning relative velocity & dynamics & brain teasers of such like being leg tackled from under the table, comes this "fun" individual who knows how to push the lens to the limits. Given a few more clicks and you can surely rate him as a pro! The fella possess the most sophisticated camera gear I had ever laid eyes on. What is amazing is that the tools respond to his demands & they respond oh so well. A silent man by nature, but as you can see in the picture, you can see that he talks to millions behind the third eye. If you the reader is lucky enough there is more from where this masterpiece came from right this way


Featured Artist #3
Sachini Weerawardhane (erm..did I spell the surname right girl?)
Fret not dear readers, I am not gifted with the lens. But this awesome lady generates passion behind the third eye, as you will all see in a while. I might as well share a few funny facts that she & I have in common. First in the list comes the name, Sachini Weerawardhane (spelling??), second comes the birth month, third comes our Alma-mater, and now that I realize, the fourth in the list be the shortened forms of our names, e.g. sach, sachi etc :D Girl, do pitch in with a comment if you see anything I have missed regarding the list of similarities. ;-) From what I have seen, the subjects she sees through the lens is more often than not unorthodox. Want proof?
The source from where this picture was excavated, drove many a ladies insane...


Featured Artist #4
Yajith Dayarathna
Well, since I am going to publish a picture I might as well publish a picture with a story behind it. :D And the picture is... (drum roll) More can be found on his Flicker photo stream The story behind the picture involves, Crabs, YesFM ShoeBox Project, shopping on Christmas Eve (2009), a horrendous downpour, & a few good gift vouchers that never found the purpose of their existence. I am not sure the status of the vouchers that plunged into the darkness of his backpack, but every once in a while a petite camera pops out of it & voila...moments speak!!!


Featured Artist #5
Sasiri Wimalarathna
I remember the day he consulted me for some pointers toward buying a good third eye. I for one am so eternally grateful the good doctor realized his mistake, did not listen to me & trusted his gut instead. Pretty is all I can say.
More of his work Here be a living example of what you can do if you have an open mind & open doors to limitless possibilities. Kudos Sasiri!!! :-)


Featured Artist #6
Charlie G. (Chathura)
Sorry mate.. I forget your last name! Perhaps if you had a surname as spectacular as your photography maybe none of this would have happened (LOL) One album I keep on revisiting on a regular basis is his Project 365 It is simply amazing to see the album being reborn with valor, fire & life every time a new picture is added. Dear readers, consult this man right here if you want to find out how to exploit a perfectly mundane moment & mold masterpiece out of it.


PS - The order of the list here has no relevance whatsoever with the level of skill each individual possesses. The note was just to voice an appreciation, as appreciation is always meant to be.

Psychotic Work Guys!

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

When I Am a Bike...


I Am Free

Why?
I feel the wind whizzing past me caressing my ears. The wind is a funny thing you see, creeping into the most cramped up locations & yet managing to freely wander about. One place she never fails to visit is underneath my riding jacket. Aah... such delights she gives me (choke)! Countless times, she has pushed me into states of extreme euphoria & all those times I profoundly forgot my latitude & longitude. Ma woman....purrrr....bless you!

I Am Brave

Why?
The bike undoubtedly gives you the best sitting position God has ever devised; legs on either side, slightly elevated from ground level. The position however has made me extremely lazy to put my feet on the ground, which in return makes stopping a nightmare! But who needs to stop with such hassle? I will just go & kiss somebody's bumper with my tires & voila, effortless stationing. I usually visualize myself as superman when I am riding my bike. Whoa...hold it...I said I "visualized" myself, does that necessarily require me to wear my undies over my pants? Well, if that is what you require for me to appear Mr. Invincible, then by God I shall wear my undies over my pants. The two wheels that spin so closely to my legs more often than not induce me to work magic on the road. Them all other losers on four-wheels plus, I laugh atcha suckers! I wag my tail feathers while I am on it & my ride responses. I wouldn't want to imagine y'all trying to do the same in your whack wagons. Trust me it will not work.


I Am Macho

Why?
The road is mine & I am burning hot! Ho yeah baby!! Who gives a flying fig about the state of the person driving the carcass I am overtaking. It is just me & my hot-ride forever & ever. I will just squeeze myself past this 20 Ton contraption & people around me would look in awe & throw flowers & confetti! Awesomeness!! A brave idea suddenly hits my small brain! Perhaps I could show these motorists how maneuvering is done. A tweak here, a tug there, a brush here & a yank there & a-waaaaay weeee go!

I Am Blind

Why?
Whoever the egghead who decided to stick these side-view mirrors & signal lights & what not onto my cruise machine ought to be hanged. I need no stinkin' mirror or light or anything that remotely relates to highway safety. As long as I have my undies over my pants I ain't got nothin' to worry'bout, no sir!!! What...I can twist & turn & wriggle my way in & out a jam. It's just too damn bad that you have to just sit there & be jealous of me & perhaps commemorating my folks at home with such love & adoration!

I Am An Idiot

Why?
I see an 18-wheeler carrying cargo, making & precarious turn to the left. In my own drunken stupor I go try to over take the 18-wheeler from the left. I just love feeling so small & so drastically outnumbered in weight, height, length & also the wheel count! By some miracle the 18 wheeler keeps a hairbreadth distance between my hot-ride, my legs & a good deal of metal junk that could easily flatten me like ham! Am I disturbed? Hell no!! I go along as if nothing happened & meet a van again finding me on its left. Is it just me or is everybody heavily left-oriented today. This guy too is turning left & I am rammed between 2 feet of triangular space between a pavement & a big white bulky mess! Curses...let me just stop right here & curse the causes of putting this man on this earth. *#&@$(*&@#$


Brummmm....Brummmm....Aaang....Aannggg....

Thursday, March 4, 2010

The Earth Rumbles & Why Do We Have To Age Sooner! :-(


There I was, trying to catch up with my daily reading & I run into this queer article in the newspaper. Few minutes after gloating over it I was engulfed with much respect for the Mayans for their premonition skills!

Sources from NASA claim that the recent Chilean Earthquake was powerful enough to knock the Earth off its axis, resulting in shorter day time. The 8.8 magnitude quake struck massive blows to the city of Concepcion on February 27th, killing more than 700 people & most weirdly affection the geography of the planet.

It is argued that since the Earthquake has affected in the distribution of mass of planet earth, it has in return had an impact on the rotation speed. Computer simulations done at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory - Pasadena, California, by geophysicists have revealed that due to the alteration to the Earth's axis, the day has gotten shorter by 1.27 microseconds. They further claim that the Earth's axis has been shifted 8cm from its orientation. How this rotation speed change occurs can be explained by a phenomena called "Ice Skater Effect". In layman's terms this means that the further the body mass is spread from the rotational axis of an ice skater the slower he can spin. If he wants to spin faster he can easily crouch his limbs, thus altering the distribution of body mass & as a result the rotational speed changes.

However, since the change is quite insignificant, the geophysicists assure that no alteration to clock time has to be made. Nevertheless, it is noteworthy that the Sumatran quake (2004) which measured at 9.1 in the Richter scale, altered the orientation of the Earth's axis by 7cm despite the massive size of the quake!

Perhaps a few quakes hither & thither & a million lives later I would get to celebrate my birthday a day quicker than I used to 10 years ago!!!

On account of the number of natural disasters the world has had to withstand during the past couple of months, one could not help but wonder if the Mayans had been right about 2012.

Hope is a good thing, don't you think? It is just too sad that when everything falls into place hope always has the knack of leaving you!

-Source Bloomberg BusinessWeek

Friday, February 12, 2010

Fire


This day in February, the Department of Electrical Engineering at the University of Moratuwa caught fire. We dwelling on the floor above had a wonderful time inhaling the foul fumes, watching the show & trying to sound like mr/ms Situational Analysts. Stories were flying around as to how the fire started, as the case is for many a such random accidents. The closest news to the truth, stated negligence on the part of some maintenance folks. The story had references to welding gear, electricity cables, the A/C & (surprise surprise) water!! Apparently in the excited state of mind or by sheer dumbness some soul had decided to use water to put the fire out. And by some long forgotten good karma that everybody failed to pay tribute to no one got hurt.

Fire does require respect & plenty of it. The staff at the Electrical Engineering Department had their work cut out trying to curb the flames & minimize the damage while the fire brigade & the police took their own sweet time to arrive at the drama. Thankfully they eventually did & left almost as soon as they arrived! :D

Accidents like these usually make you realize how vulnerable you are. Also it makes you wonder how well (or under) equipped we are tackling an emergency situation. It was quite appalling to see such so called educated people standing right outside the burning building watching the extravaganza, while glass was splintering in thousand one directions! I mean come on...curiosity did kill the cat, did it not? Since the electrical circuitry was damaged by the fire, the power supply was cut off for approximately an hour. When you say power was cut off due to a fault you don't expect to see certain areas within the same building remaining unaffected by the power cut. The engineering genius of these people is such that we in our working area had power despite the alleged "power cut", thanks to an "old power line" they had just generously left in tact!

Luckily the incident took place when most of the students were away on their vacation. Had it been a normal work day with thousands of students attending lectures, we could have witnessed a retake of a blockbuster movie! :D People may argue, blame X, Y & Z, try to sound like mr/ms know-it-alls, but it is highly unlikely that the present loopholes will be addressed & undone in the near future. Why? we, the Sri Lankans have been graciously blessed with the gift of forgetfulness & with a lapse of a few days nobody would remember of the whole fiasco, until the next one takes us by surprise.

Tomorrow...

Friday, January 29, 2010

Promotion... or is it?


Aah....never a did word exist in the dictionary with such skepticism behind it. Come to think of it, evolution itself is a variation of you & I being promoted by mother nature. And I for one am so frikkin' glad she did not screw that up, or we would have ended up with 6 limbs a pair of antlers & hooves! :D

Kiss ups, yes men/women, boot licks, suck ups are some of the very interesting definitions a thesaurus might throw at you, should you happen to look up for some definitions. What do all these phrases have in common? Plenty of drool, that's what. It is uncanny how such a source of exultation has evolved out from the honorary podium & into the rubble of repulsion. How many times have you in your heads wondered what the person did, that involved plenty of drool to be promoted? What is worse is that whenever you hear news of such nature, skills of that particular person falls mercilessly behind the drooling regardless how deep an impact skills themselves have made in helping the person in being promoted.

IMHO the freedom of speech, here in Sri Lankan corporate world is just a juicy fabrication. If ever you are thinking of opening your mouth to voice your opinion on some injustice, you might as well dig yourself a hole & bury yourself in it. "What on earth were you thinking?", "Why do you want to go bang your head on a brick wall?", "Face it man, we sprats can in no way swim among those whales & sharks"...would be some of the colorful & brutally truthful comments you would receive from your peers, if by some unfortunate twist of fate you happened to find yourself trying to be a little too brave.

It is natural for us humans to want more. More of everything & more than what we already have. It is just too sad to see people falling into such 3rd degree levels trying to get what they want. But then again, you just have to cut your cloth according to your coat do you not? After all, who wants to sit at the same place getting the same return for the next 15 years?? First of all your chair would rot. Second of all your butt would fall asleep & third of all your neighborhood will change & before you knew it would be surrounded by people who are calling u grand pa!!! :D Nothing doing!!!

Let's be frank. Most of us would rather not have our incompetencies pointed out. A promotion to a peer is interpreted by such people as a constant reminder of your incompetency. To add salt to the wound, it is just there, right before you. Day in & day out, screaming at you "nah..na...na...naa..naa..you cant catch me!" Thus erupts the cycle of competition, trying to be the better boot lick. And it is all downhill from that point onwards.

Makes you wonder, does it not? Why can't I just mind my own business?

ඉංග්‍රීසි සාහිත්‍යය නම් ෆෙස්ටිවල්...එතකොට සිංහල සාහිත්‍යය?

ඊයෙ ගාලු ගියා.." Galle Literary Festival" එක බලන්න. ඒක ඉන්ටර්නැෂල් කියල ගහල නොතිබ්බට තිබුනු ඔක්කොම අයිතම වල සත්කාරකත්වය දරලා තිබ්බේ විදේශික පිරිස්. හිටපු ඔක්කොමල වගේ ඉංග්‍රීසි කතාකරන, කොලඹ කට්ටිය. ලොකු වාහන වලින් ඇවිත්, බැහල ගාලු කොටුව වටේ රවුමක් කැරකිලා ආයෙත් කොළඹ එන එක තමයි එහෙම ආපු ඔක්කොමල වගේ කලේ. මේක ලියන්න හිතුනේ ඒ උත්සවයේ ගුණ දොස් විවේචනය කරන්න නෙවෙයි. ගුණක් කියන්න තරම් හොඳකුත් දොසක් කියන්න තරම් වැරැද්දකුත් ඒකෙ තිබ්බෙ නැහැ ඇත්තටම.

හැබැයි එක දෙයක්, ඒ උත්සවය හැමෝටම ගිහින් බලල එන්න පුලුවන් දේකුත් නෙවේ. එක අයිතමයකට ඇතුල් වීමේ ගාස්තුව රුපියල් 900ක්! නොමිලේ ඇතුල් වීමේ අවස්ථාව තිබ්බෙ අයිතම එකක්, දෙකක් සඳහා විතරයි. සම්පූර්ණ දිනේටම වලංගු අවසර පත්‍රය රුපියල් 3000ක්. ඉතිං ඔච්චර ගානක් දීලා සාහිත්‍යය ගන්න පුලුවන්ද අපි වගේ පොඩි අයට.

සාහිත්‍යය විතරක් නෙවේයි පරිප්පු ඇටේ ඉඳන් ඔක්කොම දේවල් ගිනි ගනන් කාලෙ ඔය ගාස්තු ගැන පුදුම වෙන්න දේකුත් නැහැ මම හිතන්නේ. මම ඔය විස්තරේ එක්කෙනෙක් එක්ක කිව්වම එයා කියනවා ගල්කිස්ස හෝටලෙන් දවල්ට කාල එන්නත් ඔච්චර ගානක් යන්නෙ නැතිලු. කවුදෝ කිව්වලු සාහිත්‍යය ඉතින් කන්නද කියල! ඒ කියපු කතාවෙත් ඇත්තක් නැත්තෙමත් නෑ. ඒත් අපේ මිනිස්සුන්ගෙ සාහිත්‍ය රසඥ්‍යතාවය අන්තිමයි කියල කෑගහන අය ඒ වෙනුවෙන් මොකුත් නොකරන නිසාත්, රුපියල් 900කට වඩා අඩුවෙන් බාල වින්දනයක් ගන්න පුලුවන් ඕන තරම් ඉඩකඩ තියන නිසාත්, රසඥ්‍යතාවය අඩු අපේ තවත් රසඥ්‍යතාවය මොට්ට වෙන එක අහන්න දේකුත් නෙවේ.

මේ කතාවේ දෙපැත්තක් තියන බවත් ඇත්ත. සාහිත්‍යට වඩා වැදගත් කොච්චර දෙවල් තියෙනවද? එහෙම කියල අනිත් පැත්තට අපිම රිලැක්ස් වෙන්න කියල හොඳ සින්දුවක් අහනව, අපි මුහුන දීපු සංවේදී අත්දැකීමක් බ්ලොග් කරනවා. බලන්න, අපි හිතුවට සාහිත්‍යය කන්නද කියල අපි ආයෙ ආයෙත් එතෙන්ටම යන හැටි!

සිංහල භාෂාවට කරන්න පුලුවන් දේවල් පෙන්නපු දක්ෂයො එදත් හිටියා, අදත් ඉන්නවා, හෙටත් අනිවාර්යයෙන්ම ඉඳීවි. ඒත් එහෙම අයට ඉස්සරහට එන්න තියන ඉඩකඩ ගැන නම් කියලා වැඩක් නැහැ. ඒ නිසානේ අපේ රටට විදේශිකයො ඇවිත් එයාලගෙ සාහිත්‍යය ගැන අපිට කියල දෙන්නෙ අපෙන් සල්ලිත් අරන්!

සිංහල විතරක් නෙවේ අපේ රටේ අනිත් ප්‍රධාන භාෂාව වන දමිළ භාෂාවත් හොඳ වියත් භාෂාවක්. ඒකට තියන තැන ගැන කියන්න මට හරියටම දැනීමක් නැහැ. මොකද මගෙන් ඇහුවොත් දන්න දමිළ භාෂාවෙන් සාහිත්‍යකරණයේ යෙදෙන කෙනෙක්ග්ගෙ නමක් කියන්න කියලා, ඒකට මට උත්තරයක් නැති නිසා!

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

(අ )මනාපය.

ඔන්න ඉතින් අපිත් ගිහින් ඊයෙ කතිර ගහල ආවලු. ආපු ගමන් කල පලවෙනිම රාජකාරිය ඇඟිල්ලෙ ගාපු පාට සායම් මැකෙන්න දෙහි ලෙල්ලක් අතුල්ලන එක! වැඩේ නම් හරි ගියා හැබැයි තියන ප්රශ්නෙ ඡන්දයක් කියල එක එක්කෙනා කන් පිරෙන්න ගහපු කයිවාරු ටිකයි කාලා දාපු පැය ගානයි මකාගන්න දෙහි ලෙලි කීයක් ඕන වේද කියන එකයි.

මේක සිරි ලංකාවෙ හයවෙනි ජනාධිපතිවරණයෙයි කියන්නෙ! මේක ලියන ටිකේදිත් රේඩියෝ එකෙන් ප්රතිපල කියනව! හෙට වගේ වෙද්දි දිනපු කෙනා රජගෙදරට යයි. පැරදුනු කෙනා අකුලගෙන යයි. අපි ඔයාල සුපුරුදු පරිදි වැඩ රාජකාරි වලට යයි. ඊටපස්සෙ පෙරලුනු පිට හොදයි කියල දෙන දේ කාල වෙන දේ බලන් ඉන්න තමයි වෙන්නේ.

හැමදාම වගේ වෙන්නෙ ඡන්දෙ දිනල මාසයක් යනකොට "අනේ මේකට දුන්නට වඩ හොඳයි නිකං උන්න නම්" කියල අපි අපිටම දොස් කියාගන්න එක නෙ. ඒත් ඉතිං එක දවසකට රජ වෙන්න කවුද අකමැති. ඉතිං ඊයෙ 26 වෙනිද අපි තමයි රජවරු! අර කවුද කියන්න වගේ හෙට වෙනකොට බලු වේද කියල බලාගන්න නම් හෙට වෙනකම්ම ඉන්න වෙනව!

ප්රසිද්ධියෙ පොලිටික්ස් ගැන කතා නොකලට අපිට එකෙන් වහං වෙලා ඉන්න පුලුවන්ද කියන එකත් ප්රශ්නයක්. මාත් ඊයෙ අර කාඩ්බෝඩ් පෙට්ටිය අතරට ගිහින් පැන්සල අතට ගන්නකම් තීරනයක් නැතිව හිටියෙ. පස්සෙ ඔන්න ඕන එකක් කියල දීල දැම්ම. ඇනෑලිසිස් පැරෑලිසිස් කියල සංකල්පයකුත් තියනවනෙ. කවුරු ආවත් අපිට හොඳක් වෙනවනම් එච්චරයි. හැබයි වෙන්නෙ නැත්තෙත් ඒකමයි!

ඇත්තටම අද උදේ එක්කෙනෙක් චැට් එකෙන් සීතාම්බර සළු හොයද්දි දුකත් එක්ක හිනත් ගියා!

Pregnant


Criminy!!! Why can't I simply go to bed, shut my eyes & drift off to snoozle land without letting my wild fantasies get the best of me? Serious genetic flaw I am telling y'all... So here I am (again), rattling away on the keyboard, with a stinging right eye & a fried brain.

Today's topic : You can read, can't you?

You sit on a stiff chair, a boring desk, in a long demeaning hall. You are surrounded by four of your peers each at a distance of 2 or 3 feet maximum, surrounded by rustling of sheets, surrounded by long sighs, and the occasional sound of a pen hitting the floor. The clock ticks away & you know you are in a losing race. The heinous empty spaces in your writing sheet gapes at you. The recollections of all the wasted hours & incompetencies you are doomed to hang on to for the rest of your life scream into your conscience. And you are pregnant with convalescence.

It is wrong. But you did it anyway. What part of your brain that did not function properly at the time of your doing the wrongful act seems to be a good rhetoric question to ask. Now you are caught. You dread at the prospect of a zillion whys & hows & whens being fired at you most to which you will not have a rational answer. Many a prospecting black moments that will be spawned as a result of your mediocre processing skills flash before you. And you are pregnant with remorse.

The week seems to drag on forever. You wait patiently for "that" day. The day of long, secret pleasures. The moment you are transformed into this alien species who listens to no rhyme or reason. The patience is annoying. Yet, you know patience is duly rewarded & perhaps in many ways than one if you play your cards right. For some unknown reason, the longer the day seems to take to come, the faster it dies on you & adds itself to yesterday. And you are pregnant with covetousness.

You are given promises. You being the hopeful promisee believe that the promise would be honored. It turns out the promise comes at a cost you are not quite ready to pay as yet. You wait until the promisor sees some reason & lower the bargain. Your waiting yields nothing but futility. You question & throw alternatives at the promisor hoping the conditions would be waived. Seeing the rigidity, you back off and the promisor goes into oblivion. You are left stranded & wondering what the intentions of the promisor were. And you are pregnant with repulsion.

You see a frail figure lying on a stretcher. He is alive...still. You look at him & you see the struggle he has to put through just to suck in a breath of air. He twists & turns, apparently in discomfort caused by constantly running out of air. He wants to cough but his lungs are too weak to support the demand. His body dissolves so mercilessly under the wrinkling skin. He is sick. You have the same disease the man is suffering from. You see the state you will get to if you aggravate the disease. And you are pregnant with angst.

You have been saying "It is okay" "Nevermind" for a long time & for too many times. You know sometimes you do not mean it even if you said that it was okay & you did not mind it. But under certain controls you yourself have set you force yourself to say so & be a pretender. You are too stiff headed to lower your controls and admit the fact that you are not as strong as some of these antagonizing freaks believe you to be. Living in your own twisted game of charades you wonder if you are getting too strong or too numb. And you are pregnant with perturbation.

And you thought I would trail on digging into the human reproduction system didn't you? I laugh!!!

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Pricks!


Startle not, with the seemingly obscene title my friends & fiends. This word for all I know is one of the most beautiful words in the English language yet cursed to be so brutally abused in more ways than one. This rapport, again a sudden gush of thoughts put to words is not in any way intended to slight a group of people, male or female. But should you happen to see yourself between these lines try not to chicken out. Read on. You might browse away from the page feeling like a new man/woman!

During the short course of my existence, I have been blessed to be surrounded by people of many a taste; sweet, sour, sensational, sullen, strange, sphinx-like. (Well yeah, I have a thing going on with the letter S, so sue me!) Variety my friends & fiends is a fascinating concept. Not only does it add color to our lives but also it make you & I all unique in our own ways. And so, from here-onwards unfolds the chronicle of pricks, written by a prick for pricks!

The slang for the word prick is so overrated, IMHO. For best effects, read on having removed the slang term out of your heads! Well, if you insist on licking on the slang term, be my guest for all I care! (LOL)

#1 - Best-Friend Prick
So it comes down to this. Supposedly one of the best childhood relationships many of us tend to cherish for the entirety of our lives, pops up as the #1 in the prick-list.
It starts like this. You know what I am up to. You know too much. Let us be "best friends", so that you will have your hands tied & mouth sealed. Be neutral, at whatever the cost for I know my deepest darkest secret is talking to you about me!
I for one have never believed in the best friend concept. Not basically because I believed myself to be the All mighty. All you need is a vent to let your frustrations out so that having done so you could be on your merry way! Takeaway point, be a friend to somebody, who knows how to be a friend to you in return. The best friend shindig is all bogus!

#2 -All-The-World-Is-A-Cheesecake Prick
There we have it, the one who sees all 7 colors of the rainbow all the time. Every person, event, & passing second is euphoria for them. People do only good. Nothing bad will ever happen. No cloudy skies, gloomy days, & no bastards around to stab you in the back. Welcome to Utopia!!

#3 -Your-Bar-Is-Too-High-For-Me Prick
The surreal inferiority complex. I happen to be a fan of this kind of heads. For some reason they never fail to make me feel like a super hero, with formidable powers. Instant stardom!! What more can you ask for? My advice, try not to talk them out of the pitiful state of mind. Like I said, it's surreal.

#4 -My-Bar-Is-Too-High-For-You Prick
If the bar is too high is probably because you are better off not trying to grab at it. Who needs to go through all the trouble of walking in high heels & stilts trying to reach too high a bar? Be at ease. That be your greatest strength my friends & fiends.

#5 -I-am-A-Grown-Up-In-A-Diaper Prick
Mother nature spins the clock of aging for a good reason. Try not to outsmart the woman. You are required to get old and act your age. How atrocious would it look if you happen to have a head going bald & need to change diapers every 30 minutes!?!? Prancing around like a wild kid will not attract you attention. It will however make others wonder what part of your genetic structure is faulty.

#6 -Imma-Do-You-Before-I-Go Prick
This I believe is best left to the readers to decipher. If only!!!

#7 -Crash Pad Prick
Not every prick is an eyesore. Hear, Hear!!!

#8 -Sealed-Lip-Busy-Head Prick
And the fascination of pricks continues, with the ever popular thoughtful ones. It never ceases to amaze me the tangled webs these pricks contribute in weaving. And once in a while the moment comes at which you are left feeling thankful that the prick is alive & upright.

#9 -Annual-Squeeze Prick
If you feel you belong to this group then I have nothing to say to you. You should feel downright sorry, ashamed & little. Why? Has it not occurred to you that surfacing only when you require something from somebody puts you way below in human ranking? People have to swallow an awful lot just to sound normal when you show your futile self. Try not surfacing at all for a change. That would do everybody a whole lot of good.

#10 -Now-You-See-Me-Now-You-Don't Prick
Lo & behold the great Houdini! Crowd Pleaser #1, so to speak!!! These souls have the knack of pulling out disappearing acts that are world class.:D The good thing however is that they never fail to keep you at the edge of your seats, although the fun is extremely short lived.

#11 -Be-The-Underdog Prick
Sometimes, there comes along the obnoxious creature & blabs out the most infuriating statements ever! The statements include, do not be an over-achiever, nobody wants an over-achiever, be average so that you will get noticed, do not do this, it will not work, don't do that you will be wasting time, bla bla bla...Well, dearies the space you lot occupy in this universe is just a waste!

#12 -The Weed Prick
Be not misled. This be not the "herb". The weed clan is always best kept in a distance. The lot is full of venom oozing out & feeding on any weak conscience that happen to cross their paths. BRRRR.... Fall not pray, or thou shalt be doomed for all eternity!

#13 -The-Easy-To-Please Prick
Oh, the cheery bundle, & by far the best of the lot. The most creative, weird thinkers. Good times once in company is guaranteed!

#14 - The Worthy Prick
If you did not happen to land yourself in any of the prior prick groups, this is where you probably belong. Congratulations...

Friday, January 22, 2010

"You Know, You Make Me Feel Like The Girl In This Conversation!"

So it comes in so many different forms yet never failing to draw a smile on my face.

The note starts with the famous Sachini Weerawardhana Assurance extended to the source of this utterance. I got your back pal! This is written with no hard feelings, no satire, no WTF intentions. Just the thought of scribbling something on a writing pad being executed merely out of the hilarious nature of the aforementioned statement made.

So the source happened to be a sweet, nice, man with a cheese ball like complexion. Beware of the harmless looking external aura people...The man,( as has proven so many times in the past) is known to be the most difficult to read! I for one have completely given up the studying the body language part & taken it to a neutral "go with the flow" approach. Sauciness aside, the cheese ball has been responsible for a few but noteworthy good times that he decided to get me involved as well for no apparent reason.

Thank you for the 31st night.

Having made the intros now I proceed to ponder as to what in my mode of conversing made him doubt his sexuality! This being a little piece of literature I am sure I am entitled for some exaggeration. I am not sure what the cheeseball actually meant with the remark & I am going to leave it up to the cheese ball to hang on to his own opinion here. The bottom line - .......................... :D

Comments with similar theme have been directed at me so many a times that I have lost count. Some funny, some obnoxious & some with alien like emotions attached with'em. I am not sure if it is a good thing though. Neither am I sure if it is something I should set about fixing. What do you call it anyway? Intimidation??? Er...that somehow seems too harsh a word!

Heck, if it is intimidation i should be feeling glad! I am this wild thing which in no way can be tamed unless I, myself command my systems to shut down. The self-sufficient nature sort of bugs most of them I reckon (as I have been told many times again) ! I however, do not see myself necessarily changing in the foreseeable future mostly due to the fact that I do not function to please the outside world. This is strictly a no comfort-pillow zone.

My theory of co-existence: If it does not feel like your court, do not play in it.

So my response to the comment goes on to describe how the cheese ball should be happy about feeling like a girl, because it was "oddly comforting". To which the cheese ball half heatedly agreed. I do not blame the poor critter for his confused state. It is a pretty big deal if you in your head begin to question your sexuality.

The curtain is drawn here with a note to the cheese ball, conversations with you are brain teasers!
You are the man!! (thumbs up)